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“Zip Lining & Wet Dreams”: Oso Accidental Travel Blog: On the Road in Puerto Vallarta: Day 4

June 18, 2018 “Zip Lining Over the Jungle”

First lesson of the day: When ordering something at  restaurant in a sad attempt at  the local language you never know what might show up at your table. Below a pic of my ice coffee that I ordered. To my surprise it what quite enjoyable. The waiters here in Puerto Vallarta all seem to have a great sense of humor. No doubt from dealing with awful tourist from around the world. Patience MUST be required for employment.

Today really had only three major components: zip lining across the Puerto Vallarta jungle, the best birthday dinner of my life and sexy men slapping their cocks on my leg at Wet Dreams (I’ll say more below)!

It was tricky finding the right zip-line because of the amount there are and the tough competition they have to get you to choose their company over the others. I believe we chose the best.

Los Veranos Canopy Tour is Puerto Vallarta’s original zip-line adventure tour company offering an action packed day that combines the thrill of the canopy tour with the tranquility of a beautiful river valley. At Los Veranos Canopy Tour your safety is our top priority.

With more than two miles of cable in a series of 14 zip lines, many over 1100 feet long and over 100 meters high- this tour will be the highlight of your vacation! Our friendly, experienced and bilingual staff will give you a detailed safety briefing, taking you step by step through your upcoming adventure with us. We use only professional challenge course gear such as Petzl and Black Diamond, a double safety line and the easiest braking system around. Participants are under the care and supervision of our highly trained and qualified professionals at all times.

Set out on the town for a special Birthday dinner for myself and the idea to spend some pesos. My partner was informed of a dining spot on the beach called La Palalpa to go for our fancy dinner of the trip. Normally we are super budget travelers. Our meal was one of the best of my life! We were waited on hand and foot by gorgeous and charming staff of men. The food was supreme. We gave into some Mariachi singers that gave us a performance of a life time table side. Topping off the meal, the waiters caught on the it was my cumpleanos and surprised me with mango cheesecake and 5 or 6 of these fine young model-waiter things singing me happy birthday (Cue Heaven is a PLace on Earth by Belinda Carlisle).

What a better way to round off you birthday then to visit Wet Dreams:

Wet Dreams is a bar for men only. It is in the gay clubs and bars in Puerto Vallarta and has a unique personality. Easy access and comfortable air-conditioned facilities, the drinks are well prepared … with any apetezcas liquor. The main bar has a glass enclosed shower, where the live show will captivate and amaze every hour.Do not miss it! Open from 6 pm is becoming an excellent choice for the cocktail in the hottest place in town. Your VIP Lounge gives you the opportunity to enjoy a more intimate experience in a much more discreet and exclusive. Wet Dreams is definitely a place to get quality service in all aspects.

My partner and I were both a little reluctant and giggly about the whole experience, neither of us had been to an all male strip club before. While walking towards Wet Dreams we knew we were getting close as we saw some shirtless Chippendale looking dancers standing on the sidewalk smoking (EVERYONE smokes here). Before entering we knew it would be totally tragic and possibly sad or there would be a plethora of temptation. To our surprise the place was super modern and clean with a shower built into the bar and above it. Before we could say a word a guy came to me from the behind and a wrapped his arms around me and was attempting to play with my nipples and breath on my neck. I noticed my partner was being entertained as well. Adding to the surprise every guy who worked there was drop dead gorgeous, cute, charming and a real salesmen of his own body! We let them know that we were just there for a short stay and were “just looking.” Those persistent looking boogers!!! The super jocky guy next to us had his uncut weiner out and was just playing with the monster all along with a devilish sexy smile. The Sean Cody model looking guy in the shower who had invite me into the back room a minutes earlier, was making flirty gestures while putting on some pretty rhythmic move as he showered behind the glass.

Our drink were finished and the room was filled with temptation (did I mention we were the only people there except one other guy in his 70’s ?) we decided to leave as one of the sexy guys decided to slap his hard-on on to my leg. We through some pesos into the tips tip jar and scrammed. I totally suggest this place if you are looking for a sexy good time. Just don’t with your boyfriend, just sayin’.

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