“I had waited and deflected and denied and waited more; I had held out until my chances of continuing to survive were zero,” writes Gabriel Mac in the August issue of GQ. In a personal essay, the author and three-time National Magazine Award finalist, details the road to his transition at age 37 and its aftermath.
Mac details his career as a journalist, his two heteronormative marriages, and the destructive actions and thoughts he grappled with prior to his transition. As someone who relied heavily on their looks in the past, he contemplates society’s current relationship with the transgender community—more than half of average American adults don’t believe in trans people, according to a Pew Research Center study.
“It is hard,” Mac says of his new life. “It has also never been easier. Every time I have to say ‘trans’ and don’t have to explain what it means, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who went before me.” Despite the tumultuous road towards transitioning, he’s proud that the concept of ‘straightness’ as a default is diminishing. It saved his life. “As my chest surgery healed and my testosterone levels rose, I began to feel, finally, like a real person. For the first time in my life”
The full feature, with photos by Ryan Pfluger, can be found here.
The August issue of GQ is on stands now.