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Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear

Would you chose fake life over real life? Being covered in fur and wearing comfy overalls and a big floppy hat’s does have its appeal. Mike Enders

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—The University of Virginia published the results of an extensive 18-month study Wednesday revealing that 96 percent of human beings across the planet would strongly prefer to be a singing, dancing animatronic bear.

The UVA researchers, who conducted thousands of surveys with residents of 196 different countries, discovered that despite belonging to diverse socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, and age groups, nearly all respondents said their ideal existence would involve being an animatronic bear wearing comfy overalls and a big floppy hat.

“While analyzing the collected data, we found that an overwhelming number of participants claimed the carefree, down-home life of a robotic bear was far more appealing than their own lives,” said Professor Daniel Vaughn, who led the study. “Most expressed a conviction that nothing would be more enjoyable than sitting on a plastic log, strumming a banjo, and singing songs on stage with their goofy animatronic bear friends.” MORE @ www.theonion.com

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