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Q & A with SF's own Legend Heklina: Nothing Off Limits

A day after the alien spaceship landed in San Francisco named Britney Spears, Heklina was sweet enough to sit down and answer some of my Barbara Walters style, off the cuff questions. I was there when Trannyshack started, the hairs on my chest hadn’t grown from nipple to nipple yet and now I’m covered from head to toe. My, how time changes things. It got me thinking, now that the world famous Trannyshack shut its doors to its Tuesday night staple at the Stud, what was Heklina doing with all of her time? Is she channeling that creative energy into something magical? I truly believe with everyone cashing in on their 15 minutes of fame these days, less people will be remembered in years to come. Heklina on the other hand has  made a heavy footprint in history and will be remembered for eternity. I cannot wait to see what she does next. I’m a fan!

For Heklina’s day with Britney Spears, read what she had to say CLICK

photo by Austin Young

Q&A with no Limitations:

Accidental Bear: Can I call you Heckles? Pretty please with organic cherries on top.

Heklina: Only my friends are allowed to do that. Are we friends?

AB: What  have you been up to since Trannyshack Tuesday nights has ended? Knitting? Bird watching? Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro?

Helkina: Well, when I ended the weekly club I did TRY to relax, but am really no good at that. I love to work. I feel like I am just super crazy busy all the time now. For one thing I am doing huge monthly events at the DNA Lounge, that regularly draw between 700 and 1000 people. It’s Trannyshack on steroids; bigger stage, bigger lights, bigger sound, bigger venue, and most importantly, bigger backstage! Check trannyshack.com for a list of all the stuff I am doing

AB: Were you a creative child? Barbies or G.I. Joe?

Heklina: I was never into dolls, but I read a lot of books, and had a very vivid imagination. At a very early age I already suffered from delusions of grandeur.

AB: As baby Heklina lay in her bed wearing her training bra, what did she  have taped to her wall that was ripped out of Bop Magazine?

Heklina: Oh dear, this is gonna show how old I am! David Cassidy when I was very young, then Leif Garrett, then Andy Gibb. After I discovered Rock and Roll I was hot for Robert Plant, David Lee Roth, and Eddie Van Halen.

AB: Ok, sex in drag? How? Who? Details? Polariods? Do Drag queens kiss and tell? 2 drag queens getting it on, lesbians?

Heklina: OMG, I discovered how many straight men out there like to get their dicks sucked by drag queens and ever since then I have spent waaaay too much time on line trolling for cock. I can honestly say I have never once been on any of the gay sites (Manhunt, etc.), but was hot for Craigslist for a long time, although that’s tapering off. I got some really hot cock though.

AB: When I say the word moist, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

Heklina: Brownies. Honest, I swear!

AB: For Heklina the feature film, who would play you? You seem to have a flare for theatrics (coughs) and do them quite well. Have you ever had any formal training in theater?

Heklina: Amy Sedaris or Kathy Bates. No, thank Christ I never had any formal training. Having no rules to follow was the best thing for me.

AB: Drag competitions? Are you rooting for anyone on Ru’s Drag Race or is it tired? Do you even watch the filth? 🙂

Heklina: I’ve never watched it, actually I don’t watch television and have never seen one of these “reality shows” (but I’ve been on a few of them). I hate the idea of a panel of judges telling anyone what they should wear, how they should sing, etc. I especially hate the idea of telling drag queens how they should look or develop themselves, and am disappointed in RuPaul for doing this show, but hey it’s a paycheck. I did a gig with Raja (she’s on the current season of the Drag Races) last night, and she was so sweet and it was so crazy to see these kids go crazy over her when 6 months ago they could have cared less. Ah, the power of television.

AB: People have said punk is dead for decades. How would you respond if someone said, “drag is dead.”

Heklina: Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. It’s debatable for sure. Makes for a good conversation.

AB: Could you put a price on your wig collection? What was the most unconventional thing you ever made a wig out of?

Heklina: Gosh, my wigs? I don’t know, I’m gonna have to say ……priceless! My wigs are pretty standard, nothing too unconventional, but they do have to be BIG to minimize my (cough) less than feminine features.

AB: Local politics? Do have any beef with our local politicians that you would like to air out? Are you a Bevan Dufty fan?

Heklina: No real beefs with any politicians, but as a nightlife promoter I do despise the ABC and other departments who are threatening clubs and bars. People way too often side with residents or condo owners over nightclubs, and I think SF nightlife is so vital to our identity and economy. It seems to me the most ridiculous thing in the world to move across the street from a nightclub and then complain about noise. It’s contributing to the gentrification of our City, if we don’t watch out we could become just as lame as New York City. New York City makes me weep when I think of what it was and what it’s become.

Oh, and I love Bevan Dufty!

AB: You have quite the dedicated following. Heklina for Mayor? You have my vote. But you have to promise one thing: SF must close everything down on Sundays. A total off the grid day for entire city. Ok?

Heklina: Ugh, I could never be in politics. But my policies would definitely be geared towards nightlife, the arts, parks and recreation, things that make a city unique. I would not be popular with yuppies (do people still use that term?).

AB: Anytime I turn on the TV, there is a priest being busted for molesting numerous children, usually boys. I believe there is something mentally wrong that makes men who want to become priests also become a pedophile. I know that sounds drastic. Thoughts?

Heklina: They’re denying a part of themselves, deep down I think they believe that if they give themselves to God they won’t be tempted by sins of the flesh. Then, they have to work with those delicious altar boys, and it becomes too much of a temptation. It’s a huge tragedy, for the priests themselves but of course especially for the poor molested children. I can’t even joke about this one, it’s too much. Lots of layers here.

AB: A lighter subject. Peanut butter: chunky or smooth? Men: chunky or slim ? Hairy or smooth?

Heklina: Chunky Peanut Butter, slim men (but not skinny), and smooth (but not shaved).

AB: True or False. Darker the berry the sweeter the juice?

Heklina: True. And, once you go black you never go back.

AB: Has there ever been a Trannyshack theme you wanted to put on but thought, for better or for worse, you just shouldn’t? Come on tell me. Like Retardation, a Celebration or something as offensive as that 🙂

Heklina: No, we did everything, and paid for it dearly. Protests, hate mail, cover stories in the B.A.R., people spray painting the outside of the STUD. I was much younger then, and loved outrage and scandal-not so much anymore.

AB: Who do you predict may be on future episodes of Celebrity Rehab?

Heklina: Well, again, I never watch these things, but if you are asking me what celebs are going to be fucked up in the future I will say……..Willow Smith and Miley Cyrus.

AB: Anyone special in your life right now? Or are you a mistress of the night?

Heklina: I’m a whore, yes.

AB: I personally feel like the leather community is as much drag as your shows are. Have you ever been flogged or are you more of the flogger? Meow

Heklina: Everything is drag really. No, not into the leather thing or flogging. The funny thing about the leather community is the machismo they project, when really they are much nellier than your average drag queen. But! I do love the leather community, I think they are a vital scene, and very in your face. It’s them and the drag queens that the religious right love to use to scare people about gays, and I love that. Stay freaky! Who wants to assimilate?

AB: And finally, any regrets? Things that maybe went too far in the public eye on stage that maybe, just maybe, you wish you had pulled back (or out) a little? 🙂

Heklina: Yeah, sure I have regrets. Looking back at Trannyshack, there are people I wish I had not booked, themes I wish I had not done, stuff like that. I wish I had been less of a controlling bitch, but ultimately I did a great job with it, even if I say so myself. Every current “irreverent, wacky”  drag show in San Francisco is, in some way, doing their own version of Trannyshack, whether they admit it or not (and they’re being disingenuous if they say they are not).  So, it’s had a lasting effect. Even if I stopped right now I can say I have had some effect on SF nightlife, so that’s a great legacy. But, I’m not gonna stop.

I couldn’t have asked for any more, honest and thoughtful answers from anyone. Much love to you Heklina. You are a force to be reckoned with and a “real” lady!

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