How does one actually weigh a beard? And Would it be cheating to drench it in products or water to increase its weight?
The late 1800s marked the height (or length, as the case may be) of beards. Then, in the beginning of the 20th century, facial hair fell out of favor, and for a long time it seemed like the collected wisdom of the great bearded age went with it. No books, no papers… no information to be found on the subject, whatsoever. It was as if the amassed knowledge of barbers and pogonophiles had been washed down the drain with the shorn stubble of men everywhere.
While still in England, I managed to learn from a retired research librarian of Upton Uxbridge Underwood, and his works The Language of the Beard and Whiskers of the World. She also told me of the most rare piece in the Uxbridge beard catalog, the pamphlet Poets Ranked by Beard Weight, a text so ambitious it necessitated a research team and laboratory. It was revered as much for its content as its achievement in literary eccentricity. I had found it: The pinnacle of ancient beard wisdom, penned at a time when facial hair was at its finest! MORE
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